Why did I do
it? I could lose the only work life I have ever known. My hard earned and long
used ministerial credentials could be removed. I might have to face a demeaning
trial court. Why did I do it?
Because I
love my daughter.
My daughter
Sarah came home for a visit last November. She shared with my wife and I, “Ali
and I are planning on getting married this coming summer, sometime in August of
2014.” They had been a couple for almost 8 years. The state in which they lived
had just legalized same gender marriage. We were so excited for them.
Sarah has
always been a witness to me of what it means to live for God in a more radical
and complete way. As a youth she spent many summers overseas in mission to the
needy. She challenged me to live more closely with the poor. This eventually
led my wife and me to serve a small Appalachian mission church in Kentucky for
five years.
Last fall I was closely
following the trial of Frank Schaeffer for officiating at his son’s wedding. I
was shocked by the eventual verdict and severe sentence – the loss of his
ministerial credentials. Frank was simply doing what any loving minister father
would do for their child.
I wrote in my journal that month: “Should I officiate at
Sarah’s wedding? If I do, should I try to keep it quiet or should I be willing
to publicize it?” I wondered if God was calling me to support LGBTQ people like
my daughter by “going public”. As I watched Frank Schaeffer, I knew my decision
might have significantly negative consequences.
It wasn’t until March 28th of this year that
Sarah and Ali finally nailed down their wedding date. By that time I had prayed
and discussed and discerned my understanding of God’s will.
My answer boiled down to one statement: “I love my daughter.”
Because I love my daughter I decided to sign the marriage
license and therefore violate the law of the United Methodist Church. I chose
love over legalism.
Because I love my daughter I decided to support LGBTQ people
and get involved in the Reconciling Ministry Network. This is the United
Methodist organization that works for the full acceptance of gay people in our
church. I accepted the role of coordinator for the West Michigan chapter in
July.
Because I love my daughter I decided to work toward helping
the West Michigan Conference of the United Methodist Church be fully welcoming
to LGBTQ people. I have talked with people from other conferences in our
denomination where it is a reality already. It gives me hope that soon it will
be true for us as well.
Because I love my daughter I signed the marriage license on August
18th.
Because of this, a complaint was filed and I’ve been in a
supervisory response process with our Bishop. We are hoping a trial will not be
necessary.
But I’d do it again…because I love my daughter.
I'm proud of you, Michael...proud of your passion, perseverance, and willingness to sacrifice for our awesome daughter! I love you!
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