How do I
describe one of the best moments of my life? It was my daughter’s wedding two
months ago. The phrase that comes to mind is: “All are welcome.”
The wedding week started for me on
Wednesday. I flew into Baltimore early because a two day backpacking trip on
the Appalachian Trail was planned as a prelude to their wedding. We were in
their kitchen that afternoon talking about wedding details.
I asked my daughter Sarah, “How will
the pavilion in the park be set up?”
“We’re
setting up 150 chairs in a circle under the pavilion roof,” Sarah explained.
“Where
will the two of you be sitting - in the center?”
“We haven’t decided yet, have
we Ali? But it’s possible we’ll just be sitting in random seats on opposite
sides of the pavilion.”
I retorted, “You won’t be sitting
together? Why would you do such a thing? The whole ceremony is about the two of
you and your relationship with each other. You two should be in the center
together.”
“Dad, you’ve got it all wrong. It’s
not about us” Sarah said. “It’s about ‘the community’. It’s about everyone in
the community having an equally valued place,” she explained passionately.
I just shook my head. This was not
going to be your ordinary wedding!
The wedding on Sunday was the most
unique service I’ve ever attended in my life. Sarah and Ali introduced the
service by talking about the ‘priesthood of all believers’. They adapted an
Episcopalian service to include parts for over sixty different people. These
were people they had contacted ahead of time to take part in the service. Each
of us had a few lines to say. Seated in the round, with Sarah inconspicuously
at one end of the pavilion and Ali at the other, we stood up at our seats and
spoke our lines loudly.
What a joy to listen to everyone
share their lines of Scripture or prayer! I especially appreciated the four
year old little boy who said very deliberately, “And God is love.” His sister
said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” The three sermon-lessons were shared by
different lay people who spoke with such wisdom and knowledge about the
Scriptures.
The
Psalter reading was a unique experience. There were many people present from
the bilingual Montessori public charter school where Sarah teaches in
Washington D.C. Therefore, half of our Psalter reading was in Spanish and half
of it was in English.
The end of the service featured Sarah
and Ali moving from their seats on the opposite ends of the pavilion. They met
and shared very simple, heartfelt vows they had written for each other. Sarah
and Ali each talked about the specific ways they were committing to share their
love for each other as 175 people listened, many with tears sneaking down their
cheeks. I was crying like a baby.
Let me share one more story that once
again highlighted – “all are welcome.”
On Sunday, the wedding day. Sarah
sent me out early that morning to check the porta-johns by the Liberty Pavilion
at Baltimore’s Druid Hill Park. While I was there picking up trash around the
area, I noticed a man sitting in the pavilion. It looked like he lived there or
at least spent most of his time there.
“My daughter’s getting married
here today.”
“Congratulations,” he said.
“Wow, the garbage cans by the
pavilion are overflowing.” I observed.
“You
ought to call the city to tell them to pick that up.”
“Maybe I will,” I said, “You’re
welcome to join us at the wedding this afternoon.”
I drove back to Sarah’s to
report. Sarah told me, “The city won’t pick up that trash today. You’re
going to have to bag it up Dad.”
I told Sarah about the man at the
pavilion and how I invited him to the wedding.
“What’s
his name?” was her first question, immediately giving him value.
“I don’t know.”
“You need to ask him his name, Dad.
Then he can come to the wedding.”
I went back to the park with garbage
bags. While I was working on getting the trash from the cans into the bags, my
new friend came over. “Let me help you,” he said.
“What’s your name?”
“It’s Johnnie, with an ‘ie’ on the
end.”
“Johnnie, my daughter really wants
you to join us for the wedding and dinner right here at 4:00 this afternoon.”
“I’ll get my suit jacket and be here.
Thanks.”
When I arrived back at the pavilion
in the afternoon, Johnnie was there with his suit jacket on. He watched us as
we set up the 150 chairs for the wedding. As the guests waited for the ceremony
to start, Johnnie was in one of those chairs.
After the ceremony, we all enjoyed a
potluck of food provided by Sarah’s many local friends and guests. Johnnie ate
next to me. I asked him, “Did you get a chance to meet my daughter Sarah?”
He said, “I sure did. She came over
and talked to me for the longest time. She made me feel so welcome."
I thought about my daughter
doing this on what was probably the busiest day of her life.
"She’s a good girl, you know.”
I fought back tears once again on
this special day in which “all were welcome”.
My daughter’s witness led me to find
the courage to sign her marriage license in spite of the potential consequences
to my life and ministry. A complaint was filed the next day by my district
superintendent to my bishop. I am presently in the supervisory response process
hoping we can find a ‘just resolution’ instead of a church trial. Pray for the
United Methodist Church that it might someday be a place where “all are
welcome.”
No comments:
Post a Comment